Dear God, I'm OK!

Dear God…please don’t let me be late for this exam, don’t let me get fat, please help me get this job, find a home etc.

I hear this too often and it upsets me.  My partner’s parents are devout Christians, they are lovely people but it annoys me when they pray for the road to be clear, or when they say, “I know you’ll find somewhere to live because I’ve prayed for you.”

Now, don’t get me wrong – I am grateful.  But why should it be up to God to find me a home?*  I think sometimes people put too much responsibility onto God so that they don’t have it on themselves. 

I have prayed…I used to ask not to be late for school, or to do well in my exams but then I realised that I was being totally and utterly selfish and lazy.  If I don’t want to be late then I should get up early, if I want to do well then I should put the effort in.  why should God give me a free ride because I asked for it?  I cannot see how this is right when there are people in this world who need God’s help far more than myself and my petty concerns.  Lately, when I’ve prayed (and I can’t say it happens often), I give thanks for all the wonderful things in my life – of which there are many – and when I ask for help, it is for people who really need it.  I have asked for help for the woman who used to teach me and who has been battling cancer for a number of years, for my mum, who was in an abusive relationship which made her feel suicidal, for my Grannie who lost her husband over 4 years ago and has lost some light from her life.  

Have we all become too selfish?  I’m not blameless, I wollow in self pity when I have a ‘bad’ day, I moan that I don’t have enough money, or don’t like my job but every now and again I am reminded of how good my life is and about what really matters.  

We all need to be a bit more responsible for our lives.  Let God help the people who need it the most.  The rest of us will be ok, we will find our own way and when we are in desperate times I am sure that God will be there to help us through…so long as he’s not clearing the traffic for someone late for that important meeting…

*For the record, I wasn’t homeless – my partner and I just moved to a new country and needed to find somewhere to rent.

Behind the smile: Be thankful....it should be easy

Behind the smile: Be thankful....it should be easy: Ok, so this is new. I've never created a blog, I've never written down my thoughts for anyone but myself.  So here goes something new. I...

Be thankful....it should be easy

Ok, so this is new.

I've never created a blog, I've never written down my thoughts for anyone but myself.  So here goes something new.

I don't know what I expect from this...just getting my thoughts down might be enough for me to quieten my mind and do something productive. 

Was life always this hard?

I have a pretty good life, I know I do but I cannot shake this feeling that I'm wasting it.  Whether it's due to laziness or indecision I cannot decide!

I've moved to a beautiful country, with a loving fiance, I am in good health and have several people who care for me... but why do I feel as though there's something missing?

It's the career thing - After several years working in an office environment, I decided to go to University and follow my passion...drama...I loved doing my degree - it was the hardest thing I have ever done but i knew I was working towards something worthwhile.  I felt like my life was moving in the right direction.  Now, a year later, I'm struggling to figure out what job to do (I'm temping....in offices - the type of job I was trying to avoid) and don't even know how to start doing something I love.  I don't even know what job I want, there's the real problem.  Plus, we can't afford to live on one salary, so I'm thinking I should get another office job, save some money and then start on a career that I love.  All the while I feel like i'm missing something, like I should be doing more.

Selfish self pity

I don't deserve to pity myself, there are people in this world who struggle to survive.  I know I should be grateful for everything I have.  I think this week I need to reflect on the positives....I will find my path, it just may take a little time.  I have time, I have support, I have everything I need.

Maybe there's something in this blogging malarky....